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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Poem: In the City



The prompt from http://readwritepoem.org/ this week is to basically write a poem not using familiar elements from your work.  In other words, break out of the pattern to see what comes forth.  Instead of being systematic, I am going to be more instinctual about it to see what comes.  I love this idea and may try it on an ongoing basis as a way to refresh my writing.  Here goes my experiment!

In the City

In the city, he tries to come clean
get lost in all the noise,
the cacophony like a Greek chorus
gone mad.

The shoosh of the subway
slides into the station,
her whispers remain against his ear
her voice like the whip of a flag
waving over a foreign territory.
Her body lying still, covers her thoughts
like a soft sand.

He finds his way up the stairs,
the buildings stare down at him
like sentinels guarding some secret
of a lost age. 

How huge and small he feels
as he finds his way among the dead
faces, he's never felt more awake
or more
singular.

A clogged artery

the dog that barks at night
the sidewalk has failed.

6 comments:

  1. How huge and small he feels
    as he finds his way among the dead
    faces, he's never felt more awake
    or more
    singular.

    ...that evokes a memory I never ralized I had...

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  2. There's a vital rawness about this piece that slows the breath and speeds up the pulse. Nice.

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  3. Moments, especially sounds, so clear, yet mystery remains. Very nice poem. I am coming to like things like, "shoosh", "her whispers remain against his ear", all very intimate, well spoken here.

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  4. I like how you have worded all the sounds of the city; how the buildings see but the people don't; and the 1 line 2 line verse finish.

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  5. Love the depth of imagery and emotion here.

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  6. "the dog that barks at night
    the sidewalk has failed."

    this reminds of living in Mexico. Great job!

    Pamela

    ReplyDelete